102 THE RELIGION OF THE CRESCENT.

all sought for a mediator, hoping to find one in Muhammad. On inquiry it became clear to him

[Footnote continued from previous page]
which he has made with his own hands, and baked with wood that he has brought himself from the jungles. During the day he must fast entirely, after performing his ablutions in the river before daylight, and he must remain barefooted, wearing no shoes; nor must he touch any man, nor, except at an appointed time, even speak to anyone. The object of it all is that he may meet with GOD, and from the longing desire to attain to this I underwent all this pain. In addition to the above, I wrote the name of GOD on paper during this time 125,000 times, performing a certain portion every day; and I cut out each word separately with scissors, and wrapped them up each in a little ball of flour, and fed the fishes of the river with them, in the way the book prescribed. My days were spent in this manner; and during half the night I slept, and the remaining half I sat up and wrote the name of GOD mentally on my heart, and saw Him with the eye of thought. When all this toil was over and I went thence, I had no strength left in my body; my face was wan and pale, and I could not even hold up myself against the wind . . . . I preached the Qur'an constantly in the streets (of Karuli) and houses and mosques, and many people repented of their sins, and regarded me as one of the saints of GOD, and came and touched my knees with their hands. But still my soul found no rest; and, in consequence of the experience I had had, I only felt daily in my mind a growing abhorrence of the law of Muhammad . . . . During the next eight or ten years, the examples of the Muhammadan elders and their holy men and maulavis and faqirs, whom I used to meet, and my knowledge of their moral character, and of the thoughts that dwelt in their hearts, and their bigotry and frauds and deceits, and their ignorance, which I used to observe, altogether combined to convince my mind that there was no true religion in the world at all. I had got into the same state of mind that many learned Muhammadans have been in under similar circumstances."—Ibid., pp. 12-14.
THE WEAKNESS OF ISLAM. 103

that the idea of Muhammad's intercession was entirely devoid of any foundation in the Qur'an itself; and he was thus left without hope, until he took refuge in the mysticism so popular among thoughtful Muslims dissatisfied with the popular creed. This led him to the practice of austerities and asceticisms of various kinds. "I began," he says, "to practise speaking little, eating little, living apart from men, afflicting my body, and keeping awake at nights. I used to spend whole nights in reading the Qur'an. I put in practice all the special penances and devotions that were enjoined. I used to shut my eyes and sit in retirement, seeking by thinking on the name of GOD to write it on my heart. I constantly sat on the graves of holy men, in hopes that by contemplation I might receive some revelation from the tombs .... I used to go even to the dreamy and intoxicated fanatics in the hope of thus obtaining union with GOD .... In short, whatever afflictions or pain it is in the power of Man to endure, I submitted to them all, and suffered them to the last degree; but nothing became manifest to me after all, except that it was all deceit." After undergoing another more lengthy and severe course of austerities he says, "Still my soul found no rest;" and he became despairingly convinced "that there was no true religion in the world at all." In this